Blog Series Part 3! Where I am NOW!!

This is part 3 of the 3-part blog series!!

   For my final country, my Squad and I are in Nicaragua!! Nicaragua is located in Central America, as its northern borders are connected to Honduras and its southern borders are connected to Costa Rica. I have been in Nicaragua for the past three weeks and the Lord has blown me away. The organization we partnered with is Granada Reap! The owners of the organization are Scott and Jen Esposito. The Esposito’s have cultivated an environment for people throughout Nicaragua to come in and out of their base. The base is on a 70-acre farm, and also being 15 minutes away from the City, my squad and I have had the opportunity to do a wide variety of ministry. From farm work and prayer walking to hospital trips and kids ministry, we are always doing something. The nice thing about this organization is that you choose what ministry you want to be a part of. And regardless of the ministry of choice, it feels like you are doing ministry with family. The Nicaraguans on base are so kind and their hearts are for their community. Even with little, they give out so much, and it has made me in awe to see people in a community come together to consistently serve those around them.

   One thing that struck me hard was the heart behind Scott’s and Jen’s ministry. Their heart behind everything they do is simply out of loving God and loving others. Scott and Jen made it clear from the beginning that their hearts are for us and not what we can do for them. Their ministry is set up for us to be met by the love of the Father so we can freely pour it out during our ministry. It was beautiful to get to know more of Jen and Scott’s hearts because they truly walk out what they preach. With how long they have been running this ministry, they are pouring out of a place of love and not obligation. They are serving the Kingdom not out of performance but out of the Lord’s goodness. It was honestly crazy to see how different the atmosphere of ministry can be when everything you do is rooted in love. That even after being missionaries for over 20+ years, they still pursue the Kingdom with a heart of urgency and compassion. That being spiritually burned out is no longer a possibility when you are serving from a love that wasn’t yours to begin with.

    Being only three weeks on the base, the Lord convicted me on what it looks like to live a life out of His love. An overarching theme the Father has been walking me through during  my time on the field is showing me what it looks like to be a daughter before being used as a vessel for the Kingdom. I was willing to go out and serve the nations for nine months without even considering my value and worth of being His child. He quickly showed me that this race will not be a season of how the Lord can use me, but a season of what it means to truly receive and dwell in being His beloved daughter. Since the very beginning, the Father has been in pursuit of my heart. He has shown me that being with him is enough. That I don’t have to work towards approval but serve from approval. That if everything in ministry was stripped away and it was just the Father and I, that is enough. That His love isn’t a merit to be achieved but it’s freely given because of what He has done on the cross. He showed me a love that chose me before I chose Him. A love that emptied himself completely to take up the form of man, so that I can experience an undeserving freedom found in Him.

    After months of laying down my expectations, ambitions, and dreams of the race. I finally understood after 19 years what it means to experience the Agape love of the Father. And in that moment, years of striving, performance, and the fear of never measuring up all dropped at the Father’s feet. I was freed from the foundational lies of my childhood and I was able to walk in the Father’s embrace. When you meet a love like this, ministry no longer becomes an obligation but an honor. You no longer do anything out of selfish ambition but want to freely lavish others with this love. You no longer serve out of a heart posture of insecurity but out of a heart of security and confidence in the Father. Rejection and the fear of man are no longer worries because a perfect love such as this casts out all fear.

    I thank God for not just seeing my desires and fulfilling them, but for giving me what I truly needed. That we serve a personal and loving Father whose heart is for His children and not what they can do for him. That this trip was a pursuit of being met by love. I pray that everything I do for the rest of my life, let it be built off of the foundational Truth of His love. For signs and wonders can be done in His name, but if it’s not done in love it means nothing. I want my life to be a ministry where glory to the Father isn’t motivated by works but lead by the encapsulating love that took hold of me at the age of 19. That when I see my Father face to face after this life ends, that my well done, isn’t based on the works I had done but based on the heart I chose to lead in when I served the Kingdom.

    Although I still have 6 weeks left, I am beyond grateful for the journey the Lord has brought me through. I am thankful for how much I have matured, experienced, and faced being on the race. To be able to see the Father for who He is and not what I assumed him to be. I’m honored to know that this is just the beginning. That the race was just the beginning of a lifetime of yes’s to the Father. Thank you to all who have supported, reached out, and kept me in your prayers throughout my time on the race. As I finish out my race I ask that you continue to keep my squad and I in prayer. The Lord is not done with us yet, and I’m excited to see what is to come from the rest of my time being here. I will continue to keep you guys updated on what the Lord has been doing here in Nicaragua! I hope you guys enjoyed this three-part blog series as much as I did!

                                                                                   – Love nat